grateful.

Today, I have a beautiful 20month old boy who yells out MAMA-MAMA-MAMA-MAMA in a busy shopping mall.

My heart swells, does a big flippty-flop and I am grateful. VERY.

Although we didn't get pregnant last month, I know that I am very lucky to have him. There are so many couples out there, still on the ttc-fuck-when's-it-gonna-be-my-turn-to-get-pregnant wagon. He is the reason why I am smiling today. He took me out of depression when I was trying so hard to conceive.

I love him to bits. I would very much love to give him a sibling.

I pray, that just one more time....... pls let me be pregnant.

negative

i haven't been blogging. t runs like the wind, the house is a perpetual tsunami and by 9pm, i'm dog tired. :(

but....despite all the lack of energy, we're back to the "having sex every other day" to get pregnant again. We're trying again. Just naturally first and then go on the clomid within the next 3 months. I have the prescription with me. Just not ready to take it yet to get my clomood kill the day.

I tested last night.

It was negative.

That old familiar stab hit me again.

Fucking, fucking painful. And i threw the stick into the bin with a 'hmmph'.

dejavu.

we try again. next month.